Quizzically Musing

Watching the madness

Posts Tagged ‘sex

Breastfeeding

with 2 comments

Breastfeeding

A friend feeding her baby son

This photo was originally posted on facebook in protest at the banning, by facebook, of breastfeeding photos taken by a wonderful photographer, Christopher Rimmer.  That caused quite an international media storm! My friend has given permission for the photo to be used here.  You can see some of Christopher’s stunning work here.

Breasts.  What are they for? For FEEDING babies.  Yesterday the following status was floating around facebook (I’ve just noticed there are no capital letters in facebook, so that is not a typo 🙂 ) and I was reminded that in 2011 it seems we are still freaked out about a woman doing the most natural thing in the world – feeding a child.  The status was:

So I was on the toilet this morning, eating toast with Vegemite and a bowl of muesli and…What? You think there’s something wrong with eating in the toilet? Did that irk you a little? Then why do people suggest breastfeeding mothers feed their babies in the toilet? If you’re a fan of brestfeeders’ rights, I DARE you to put this up as your status.

Why all the hullabaloo about women feeding their children where ever it is necessary?  Sex.  Western civilisation particularly has this “thing” about breasts almost being classed as genitals.  They aren’t.  Do people get aroused over the sight of a cow’s udder?  No?  Human breasts are for the SAME purpose.  To produce milk to feed offspring.  Yet from all the hype around the topic of where and when it is appropriate to feed a child, one would think this was an insult to humankind.  Or an invitation to have sex.  I do not get it.

If anything, the situation seems to have got worse, rather than better, in the years since I had babies (over 30 years ago).  I remember a fuss over women breastfeeding on planes in the USA just last year.  So are mothers supposed to starve their children while flying?  I’ve yet to see any breastfeeding mother actually flaunt her breasts while feeding.  Miranda Kerr posted a photo of her feeding her new baby and congratulations to her for doing so.  Other celebrity mothers have done similar recently.  We need more of it.  Yet they cop criticism for doing so.  I applaud them for raising the profile of the debate.

Debate?  There should be no debate.  Strangely for me, I haven’t researched if trying to restrict breastfeeding is in contravention of any human or civil rights international conventions or convenants, but morally it certainly is.

Surely feeding a child is a basic, almost THE most basic, human right.  It should most certainly be a civil right.  I’d love to see a precedent case!

Breast milk is the most appropriate food for a baby.  Some women can’t breastfeed and have no option but to bottle feed.  We certainly should not be almost criminalising those mothers who do breastfeed.  I could cite a string of articles about the benefits of breastfeeding, but you can all Google as well as I can and I’m sure if you are reading this, you already have an interest, one way or the other, in the topic.  I’m simply looking at the question from the perspective of human and civil rights.

I’m almost sorry I am not going to be breastfeeding any more children, because I’d love to give some of the anti-breastfeeding brigade a run for their money.

Written by Robyn Dunphy

March 31, 2011 at 6:16 pm

The news is annoying me…

leave a comment »

I’ve been watching/reading the media and can’t really find anything to get my teeth into.  Maybe I’m just jet lagged still.

I am about over Charlie Sheen’s antics (isn’t everyone?).  Northwestern University’s Professor J. Michael Bailey arranged for the demonstration of a sex toy in a tutorial, causing quite a stir: in fact far too much of a stir when there are far more important things to worry about.  Too many police have searched through the details of the St Kilda young lady saga, so we are told.  This is surprising why?  Kevin Rudd is trying to rule the world or at least make sure he leaves a sizeable carbon footprint.

The unrest in the middle east continues and while this situation is of global importance and the loss of life terrible sad, it is not an issue I really want to delve into.  I was a little to close for comfort recently when protests started in Oman while I was in Qatar.  Seems I missed meeting up with Kevin in Abu Dhabi by a day.

I see an article about the Victorian Government allegedly blackmailing Melbourne University and decide I really do not want to know – someone else can take that on board.

Lady Gaga has, thankfully, taken legal action against the makers of breast milk ice cream, but only for the name – the ice cream will probably stay.

Will the media PLEASE stop referring to Julia’s partner as First Bloke?  I don’t care what side of politics any of us are on, this is our NATION we are talking about here and frankly I think we can come up with a better title that doesn’t make US all look like country yokels on the world stage. 

I’ll almost be glad when the real footy season starts – at least the front pages will be predictable, if nothing else.

Written by Robyn Dunphy

March 6, 2011 at 6:35 pm

False world of sports professionals

leave a comment »

Poor St Kilda.  As a club it has certainly been through the media mill off field lately.  It hopefully is a lesson to all sporting professionals, not just the players of the St Kilda football club (who themselves do not seem to be learning any lessons).

The above linked article says “These young men live in a false world. Too much adoration, money and spare time.”  That statement doesn’t just apply to St Kilda’s young men, but to all sports professionals.  It is indeed a false world.  Some sports do not seem to be as bad as others:  tennis, for example, is not generally rocked by such scandals.  Cricket has the odd loose cannon such as Shane Warne, but generally, not so bad.  Cricket’s dramas usually revolve more around match fixing, it seems, that sex, alcohol and drugs.  Golf?  Well there was Tiger, of course, and even The Shark has had some colourful moments.

Footballers seem to take the cake every time.  Is it the pack mentality?  Get a group of young, irresponsible, overpaid men together with way too much time on their hands and perhaps a lack of rigorous education and look what happens.  The adoration aspect is clear: yet other sports professionals have a similar fan base and don’t get into the same scraps.

Too many bumps on the head?  After all, it does seem as if footballers, irrespective of code, end up in more trouble.  AFL takes the cake locally, but worldwide anecdotal evidence would suggest footballers end up in the media the most.

I think I’ll be steering my sons in the direction of tennis.

What sport do you encourage your sons to play, and why?

 

Written by Robyn Dunphy

February 2, 2011 at 5:57 am

Posted in Family, News, Stupidity

Tagged with , , , ,

Guns & sex? Not me!

leave a comment »

Maybe this article caught my eye because of my current enforced state of celibacy.  More likely it caught my eye because I am a long standing supporter of gun control.  That is despite having been a A-grade competitive shooter in my younger years.

I have to say I’ve never imagined, even in my wildest fantasies (clearly mine aren’t wild enough), combining guns and sex.  Call me strange if you will, but somehow the two just don’t seem to mix, unless you are into games involving rape fantasies I suppose.

Now we have a situation when the man has accidentally killed his wife.  Interestingly the wife was 50 and the husband only 23, if the report is correct.  This is quite a substantial age difference.  I can’t help but wonder what the life insurance arrangements are.

The husband has been arrested, but no charges have yet been laid.  I suppose in a country where everyone has the constitutional right to bear arms it might take a little longer to determine what the charge should be.  Stupidity springs to mind, although I’m not sure that is actually a criminal offence in itself.

The husband didn’t know the gun was loaded, the report states.  Ummmmmmmm – how many guns load themselves, I wonder?  Did the wife load it, hoping to dispose of the husband?  Was this a murder plot gone wrong?  He put the gun to her head and it discharged? 

I remember the case earlier this year where the husband killed several members of his family because the wife hadn’t cooked his breakfast eggs properly.  Guns and domesticity are just not a good mix.  What is your view?

How many people really involve guns in their sex lives? 

While I am very sorry for the loss of life in this case, I really can’t help thinking that anyone who plays with fire risks getting burnt – in some cases, fatally.

Written by Robyn Dunphy

December 30, 2010 at 6:15 am

Posted in Family, News, Stupidity

Tagged with , , ,

Only in Darwin…

leave a comment »

Or perhaps this almost qualifies for a Darwin Award.  Not quite, it wasn’t a life-threatening situation.  Just rather strange!  A report in today’s HeraldSun details a woman’s reaction to being denied sex by a cabbie.

Quite within his rights, one would think, to say “No, thanks”.

The woman has been charged with criminal damage and having an offensive weapon after kicking the car and smashing the rear window with a bottle.

Quite  a night on the tiles, I think.

The joys of public holidays – slow news days.

Written by Robyn Dunphy

December 28, 2010 at 1:59 pm

Posted in News, Stupidity

Tagged with , , ,

The dark side…

leave a comment »

This report in The Age is not something I particularly want to write about or for that matter even think about, but given the prevalence of the internet in all our lives, we all have a responsibility to be aware. Paedophiles.  How do we eradicate them?

A snippet from the article linked above:

“Thanks to my new friends for helping me realise that I am more normal than I thought I was,” reads a wall post by one user, who talks about abusing his “gorgeous” 10-year-old daughter.

“So this is where we let it all hang out and can finally talk openly and share with like-minded people.”

To quote Hillary Clinton’s use of a Nigerian saying once again, “It takes a village to raise a child”.  Just with this particular problem we are talking LOTS of children and a very large village: the global internet village.

Yes, I know, Facebook and many other social networking sites have an age criteria for joining.  That in itself doesn’t mean we should just turn a blind eye to the use of such sites by predators. 

I agree it is not solely the responsibility of the sites to police such activity.  The scale is prohibitive. We need a better way of ensuring people can’t just sign straight back up, which is effectively the case now.

The internet is the one place where we can all be someone other that who we are in real life.  In fact, there are many people advising us to make sure we hide our identity on the internet as a form of protection.  I ask myself (and you) where else in life can we hide our identity and get away with it for very long?  The bank? The local police? The tax office?  Medicare? Take away for a moment all the warnings about identity theft and so on and look at the bare bones of this hiding.  Why do we, as a society, make out the internet is so different to the rest of life?

We even refer to the “rest of life” as “real life” on the internet, neatly shortened to RL, of course.  Along with TTFN, LOL, BBL, AFK, IDK……….. the list goes on.

Hang on a minute – the internet is just a part of real life.  It isn’t a thing apart, a fourth dimension, an imaginary world.  That is a cop-out.  The keyboard you type on is real.  The screen is real.  The heat sink in your computer is real, as is the CPU and the motherboard.  The person you email, tweet, IM, wall post or whatever is flesh and blood, just like you and I.  So what is so unreal about the place?

Perhaps if we stop pretending, if we stop hiding behind anonymity and tighten up identity theft laws and punishments, if everyone has to prove who they are before delving into cyberspace we might just solve a whole plethora of problems.

Let’s all stop pretending.

Written by Robyn Dunphy

December 14, 2010 at 9:28 pm

Posted in News

Tagged with , , , ,

Your genitals are beautiful

with 9 comments

It saddens me, a woman of shall we say mature years who has given birth twice, to read that our younger women feel their bodies are so “wrong”.  While the survey range was 18 to 80, the mean age was 34.

We have the anorexia/bulimia issues and that is bad enough.  A lot of the blame for anorexia and bulimia is attributed to the unrealistic images of the “desirable” body type depicted in the media.  Impossibly size 0 bodies.  Perfect faces sculpted by surgeons in Hollywood or Argentina (the home of the beauty queen industry).  Botox parties – and I understand men are getting on that bandwagon too.

Now the problem is our genitials, it seems.  I recall a joke: “all you have to do to please a man is turn up naked with a beer”.  Pretty lame, I agree, but I do (or did) think it is closer to the truth than whether men peer at the structure of a vulval region and turn it down because it doesn’t look like the one in the latest adult movie.  I’ll admit, when it comes to the genders, I do think the males got the more visually attractive body parts.  However, like a lock and key, one doesn’t work without the other.

Let’s look at the findings:

Half of the group, which had a mean age of 34, worried that their partner would find the look or odour of their genitals ”repulsive”, while one in four feared the size or appearance of parts of their vulval region were unattractive or inadequate.

Here is the really worrying bit:

The findings come after The Sunday Age last month revealed the number of Medicare claims for labioplasty surgery had tripled in less than a decade.

Some women as young as 18 are seeking psychiatric treatment after the operation failed to make them feel better about their bodies. ”This research highlights the need for mental health practitioners to assess genital image and body image perceptions with girls and women who visit them with relationship and sexual problems,” Ms D’Arcy-Tehan said.

Let’s read further, however, and we find that perhaps men ARE making these comparisons:

”In my private practice I had a 16-year-old girl who came in and said her 18-year-old boyfriend told her her vagina didn’t look like the images he saw on the internet.

”That’s often where the beginnings of anxiety start.

”Young women are very confused.”

Some months ago there was much coverage in the press about the negative effects pornography had on the relationships between men and women in relationships, the thrust of the discussion being that the unrealistic images presented changed men’s perceptions and expectations.  I remember thinking at the time surely this could not be the case for the majority of men.  Surely they are more grounded in reality than that.  I also remember my husband’s complete and utter shock when he stumbled across some of what is available on the internet.  He had never in his life seen such things until coming to Australia and he was absolutely astounded.  He had never used a computer before coming here, if the Western reader is wondering how one escapes such things:  I assure you, it is still possible!

Given my husband’s reaction and the article under consideration today, I’m seriously rethinking my attitudes to pornography and the impact it has for the wider community.  I’ve always been pretty ambivilent: each to their own.  Yet I know I am firm supporter of the ratings recently introduced by Senator Kate Lundy for violent computer games.   I’m not about to start crusading as such, but I will certainly be watching the dialogue a little more closely.   

Just because we can have something, doesn’t necessarily mean we should, or perhaps we shouldn’t have it in the quantities we can or to the extremes it is available.  We don’t drink and drive because of the danger.  Not everything available to us is good for us.

I encourage all young women out there to accept their bodies as the beautiful creations of nature that they are.  Don’t be fooled by an inexperienced young boyfriend into thinking you are not normal.  Remind him in no uncertain terms that the movies are NOT normal, they are not reality.  If he has a problem with that, it is he who does not belong in your life, not your genitals.  Keep them just the way they are, for a man who truly loves YOU will not be comparing your body to internet images.

Have you ever experienced such a comment as the poor young qirl quoted above?  What did you do about it?

Written by Robyn Dunphy

December 12, 2010 at 11:34 am