Quizzically Musing

Watching the madness

Archive for the ‘Relationships’ Category

Bitter Divorces

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I’ve heard of bitter divorces, but this one, reported in the HeraldSun, certainly has a twist to it.

The marital home was sold, it seems prior to the marriage breakdown.  Rather than split the proceeds, the husband put cash in about 400 envelopes and sent it all to charities.  Who gets $395,000 in cash?  Imagine walking home from the bank with that in your briefcase.  What bank these days hands over $395,000 in notes anyway?

He then soaked his bank statements in a bucket to make paper mache.

Apparantly, the husband wanted to “eliminate the cause of the divorce”, which he saw as being primarily greed.   I get the distinct impression his approach may not have been overly successful.

I’m not sure what will ultimately happen in this case, because he has nothing now and you can’t get blood out of a stone.

Strange people in the world.



Written by Robyn Dunphy

April 9, 2011 at 1:02 pm

Posted in Family, News, Relationships

Tagged with ,

Until death do us part

with 2 comments

Within two weeks of or, worse, AT the wedding, it seems.

First we had the case in Australia of the American charged with murdering his wife on their honeymoon in Australia while scuba diving.  He served time here, then was deported to face charges in Alabama, USA.

More recently we had the UK man honeymooning in South Africa who is accused of arranging the murder of his bride.

Now we have a case, in Brazil, of the groom shooting his bride, the bestman and himself at the wedding reception.

What on earth is going on here?  I don’t believe I’ve seen a lot of similar cases in the past.  Why are these men getting married in the first place?  Did they change their mind at the last minute but not have the courage to call it off?  That seems unlikely if they had the courage to kill their brides so soon after the wedding.

Admittedly the UK/South African case is still very much open, but the husband is certainly the prime suspect, it is reported.

The American/Australia case was presented as an accident initially.

In the Brazilian case there were way too many witnesses for any claims of innocence to be made – besides, the husband himself is dead.

Weddings are supposed to be a joyous time. Yes, marriages fail: usually not in such a short space of time, unless you are Britney Spears (52 hours) and they managed to end that marriage without a death.

Something is not right.  Do you have any thoughts as to what may be causing such horrible events?

Written by Robyn Dunphy

December 21, 2010 at 6:25 pm

Posted in News, Relationships

Tagged with , ,

Christians, Jews, Muslims

with 3 comments

I’ve got news for you.  Your God (in case you forgot, you all believe in the same God) is a little over some of you.

Given I don’t believe in Him, therefore I have no expectations of Him, He felt safe dropping around for a cup of tea and a chat. A bit of a debrief, really.  Sadly, all I could do was listen.  I really didn’t have a lot of advice for the poor chap.

I have to tell you, He really is getting very frustrated with all the fruit cake extremists on all sides of the triangle.  The latest episode that got him rolling his eyes was this, as reported in The Age.  If you can’t be bothered reading the link, it is Jewish radicals this time.  No, He doesn’t blame Satan for all this radical stuff – He blames YOU, the individuals.  He did give special mention to the Preachers, Rabbis and Imams that incite such stupidity in His name, but basically He holds each and every one of you responsible for your own actions.  He says He isn’t bailing you out, either. 

If He had His way, He says, He would force every single person on this planet to marry from one of the other two belief systems for two generations.  His logic is that you’d soon stop trying to kill off your relatives, or at least most of you would.  He hopes.

He is baffled by why the three systems that believe in Him are constantly at each other’s throats.  He doesn’t see other religions jumping on this bandwagon – they just go calmly about their business.  Why can’t His followers, He wonders?

Then He got all down, questioning His own actions back in the day.  Should he have taken Thor’s advice and left well enough alone, He wondered.  But with Thor thundering about it was hard to think properly.  Then there was Venus, all loved up with nowhere to go.  He had listened to her too, but perhaps not quite enough.  Too much Thor and not enough Venus in the recipe, perhaps.

“God dammit”, He spluttered, “why can’t they all just get along?”  I pointed out to Him that some of His followers would likely accuse Him of blasphemy for the cursing.  He thundered that if He wanted to use His own name, He damn well would!  I suggested perhaps a glass of wine might be more therapeutic than the tea.  He gratefully agreed.  “Grapes”, He observed, turning the glass to catch the sunlight, “quite a good idea of mine, don’t you think?”  Then He started ruminating about moderation.  Made sense really – He had dropped in to talk about extremists, after all.  Why can’t everyone just be more moderate, He asked.

All people came from the same original stock, He said.  Straight out of Africa.  Who was that chap at Oxford who traced the mother line mitochondria?  People should pay more attention.  Then the white lot get all racist, thinking they are “special”.  Well, they are about 20% of the world population, so that should show them they aren’t so special. 

He’s actually thinking of making an announcement, confirming the theory of evolution, just to get everyone back on track and stop all this nonsense.  Then He can retire and stop feeling responsible for all the death and destruction perpetrated in His name.  Nice game of chess with Thor is long overdue, he says.

Don’t be surprised if He uses WikiLeaks or Twitter for the announcement, He is finding the internet quite useful, He says.  Especially given firewalls and other security measures don’t apply to Him.

He thanked me for listening then just faded into the mist.  Gods have that ability, I suppose.

By the way – I almost forgot – I heard through the mist He gets REALLY annoyed at this sort of thing:

Not according to the Bible!

Written by Robyn Dunphy

December 18, 2010 at 9:51 pm

Posted in Family, News, Relationships

Tagged with , , ,

Your genitals are beautiful

with 9 comments

It saddens me, a woman of shall we say mature years who has given birth twice, to read that our younger women feel their bodies are so “wrong”.  While the survey range was 18 to 80, the mean age was 34.

We have the anorexia/bulimia issues and that is bad enough.  A lot of the blame for anorexia and bulimia is attributed to the unrealistic images of the “desirable” body type depicted in the media.  Impossibly size 0 bodies.  Perfect faces sculpted by surgeons in Hollywood or Argentina (the home of the beauty queen industry).  Botox parties – and I understand men are getting on that bandwagon too.

Now the problem is our genitials, it seems.  I recall a joke: “all you have to do to please a man is turn up naked with a beer”.  Pretty lame, I agree, but I do (or did) think it is closer to the truth than whether men peer at the structure of a vulval region and turn it down because it doesn’t look like the one in the latest adult movie.  I’ll admit, when it comes to the genders, I do think the males got the more visually attractive body parts.  However, like a lock and key, one doesn’t work without the other.

Let’s look at the findings:

Half of the group, which had a mean age of 34, worried that their partner would find the look or odour of their genitals ”repulsive”, while one in four feared the size or appearance of parts of their vulval region were unattractive or inadequate.

Here is the really worrying bit:

The findings come after The Sunday Age last month revealed the number of Medicare claims for labioplasty surgery had tripled in less than a decade.

Some women as young as 18 are seeking psychiatric treatment after the operation failed to make them feel better about their bodies. ”This research highlights the need for mental health practitioners to assess genital image and body image perceptions with girls and women who visit them with relationship and sexual problems,” Ms D’Arcy-Tehan said.

Let’s read further, however, and we find that perhaps men ARE making these comparisons:

”In my private practice I had a 16-year-old girl who came in and said her 18-year-old boyfriend told her her vagina didn’t look like the images he saw on the internet.

”That’s often where the beginnings of anxiety start.

”Young women are very confused.”

Some months ago there was much coverage in the press about the negative effects pornography had on the relationships between men and women in relationships, the thrust of the discussion being that the unrealistic images presented changed men’s perceptions and expectations.  I remember thinking at the time surely this could not be the case for the majority of men.  Surely they are more grounded in reality than that.  I also remember my husband’s complete and utter shock when he stumbled across some of what is available on the internet.  He had never in his life seen such things until coming to Australia and he was absolutely astounded.  He had never used a computer before coming here, if the Western reader is wondering how one escapes such things:  I assure you, it is still possible!

Given my husband’s reaction and the article under consideration today, I’m seriously rethinking my attitudes to pornography and the impact it has for the wider community.  I’ve always been pretty ambivilent: each to their own.  Yet I know I am firm supporter of the ratings recently introduced by Senator Kate Lundy for violent computer games.   I’m not about to start crusading as such, but I will certainly be watching the dialogue a little more closely.   

Just because we can have something, doesn’t necessarily mean we should, or perhaps we shouldn’t have it in the quantities we can or to the extremes it is available.  We don’t drink and drive because of the danger.  Not everything available to us is good for us.

I encourage all young women out there to accept their bodies as the beautiful creations of nature that they are.  Don’t be fooled by an inexperienced young boyfriend into thinking you are not normal.  Remind him in no uncertain terms that the movies are NOT normal, they are not reality.  If he has a problem with that, it is he who does not belong in your life, not your genitals.  Keep them just the way they are, for a man who truly loves YOU will not be comparing your body to internet images.

Have you ever experienced such a comment as the poor young qirl quoted above?  What did you do about it?

Written by Robyn Dunphy

December 12, 2010 at 11:34 am